I’m worried about my son, who started secondary school last September.

He has always been quite a solitary child and seems happy enough that way, but at least in primary school he had a few friends who came to visit.

Since he started at his new school though, he’s never once asked a friend over or even mentioned that he’s made any.

I don’t like to keep asking him about it, and he doesn’t seem worried about anything, but I’m afraid he’s secretly unhappy or is even, perhaps, being bullied.

Should I speak to his teacher or will they just think I’m an over-anxious mum? FM 

 

FIONA SAYS: PERHAPS HE JUST LIKES BEING ALONE If your son is content, it may simply be he’s one of those people who doesn’t feel the need for lots of friends because he’s relaxed and happy in his own company.

Such people generally take time to choose friends.

If your son has never had a large social circle, he may be considering the options before committing himself.

Have a chat with the school to ask if he’s mixing well. If he starts showing signs of being withdrawn, then I’d also mention your concerns about the possibility of bullying.

If it turns out that your son simply prefers to be a loner, perhaps look at ways in which he can be helped to make new friends.

Learning to socialise is a life skill that is best learned now because it will be hard to adapt to life beyond school otherwise.