The knock on the door which announced the arrival of two policeman with news of their treasured son's death is something Joan and Maurice Lacey will never forget.

But in the 20 years since their Ian Lacey died, the couple have helped many hundreds of bereaved people cope when a parent's worst nightmare becomes reality.

Joan and Maurice are the official contact point in Essex for the Compassionate Friends, a national charity which provides support and friendship to parents and families following the death of a child, regardless of their age or how they died.

"When our son died, we found the most valuable support we received was from other bereaved parents who had suffered as we were suffering," explains Maurice, 70.

"Their insight and experience created an instinctive bond of mutual understanding. Those who reached out to us enabled us to talk freely and see for ourselves that although there was no cure for what we were feeling, there was hope of some sort of worthwhile future."

Ian died after being hit by a train as he tried to rescue a dog.

The couple went through months of torment before discovering the charity. Joan, 78, even become agoraphobic.

She says: "No matter how old your child, you still worry about them and the pain is never lessened when they are taken away.

"No matter what their age, whether a baby or an adult, they are still someone's son or daughter and as a parent, you never think you are going to go to your child's funeral.

"You stop at that point and suddenly, the future you had is changed for ever. Your priorities change from that day on and material things no longer seem so important."

She adds: "At that stage, you feel you are on your own - the only one feeling like you do. It was really only the letters from other mums that helped me to understand the way I was feeling."

The Compassionate Friends was founded in 1969 by two couples who came together through the shared grief of losing children in hospital - one to terminal illness, the other in an accident.

It now has a network of groups across the world.

Maurice and Joan live in Clacton, but run monthly meetings in Southend as well as their home town.

They also take their turn manning a national helpline for bereaved parents.

The charity's awareness week starts on Monday, though Maurice admits recruitment of new members is hardly the aim.

"In reality we hope it is an organisation people never qualify to join," he explains. "But we are there - just a phone call away - with support when people do qualify."

Joan adds: "We don't approach anyone. They have to approach us, so it's never intrusive.

"Once contact has been made, we will phone and arrange to meet people before they come to a group meeting. That way, when they do come, they will find at least a couple of familiar faces.

"Ours is not a morbid group by any means. It's lovely for us to see people move on and help others.

"Often, when you have lost a child, support from others is there initially, but as time moves on, you feel you can no longer talk about your child with those who have not experienced such a loss."

Group sessions are open to parents for as long as they want to attend, offering continuing friendship, support and understanding.

Maurice says: "We may have lost one member of our family but through the Compassionate Friends, we now have an extended family of all friends we have made.

"It has truly been a lifeline for us."