First published May 2, 2008
MY favourite motoring story of the week is funny and sad at the same time.
We learnt the other day that lollipop men and women are being given very special lollipops - ones with cameras fitted.
The idea is to gather evidence of some of the moronic and dangrous behaviour they encounter when they are out on the roads trying to do their job.
There's something special about these heroes of the crossing patrol.
While the idea of traffic wardens taking snaps of cars they think are illegally parked is sinister, I can't help welcoming this idea.
Lollipop people, you see, are just nice.
They're not there to tell you not to do this or that, they're just trying to make life easier for people walking their kids to school - and who could begrudge them a bit of extra protection?
All this is funny for one reason: The James Bond aspect to it.
You can just imaging Q standing at the front of a classroom of crossing patrollers.
"This," he'd tell them, "is the very latest in personal road rage protection technology.
"It looks to all but the trained expert like an ordinary Stop sign. But concealed between the 't' and the 'o' is a tiny camera, capable of capturing pin-sharp shots in varying light conditions.
"It's activated by pushing this button in the lollilop's pole. But be careful: If you click it twice, it will become a harpoon gun, capable of spearing a White Van Man at 25 yards."
All very entertaining stuff.
The sad part is, the patrols and the children they are trying to protect actually need something like this.
Apparently they face people who drive around patrol when they are in the road, rev their engines or beep their horns while the patrol and children are crossing, drive too close to the patrol and swear and using threatening language.
I just hope the prospect of being caught on lollycam will persuade a few idiots to stop behaving like spoilt children and grow up.
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